"Hope"

Hope

Emily B.

"Home"

I returned to the country in July 2019 following a yearlong sabbatical in Paris and European travel, despite, after the election that preceded my application, my extreme misgivings. I’d been reading a lot of james baldwin, poems by yusef komunyakaa, and was grieving from 20 years of school neighborhood violence and seemingly endless and pointless sacrifices for other people's children, and now the government system had been usurped by a used car salesman. Nonetheless, by the end of my sabbatical there was hope: potentially a new administration and restoration of the larger community devoted to democracy. The extended pandemic threw my efforts into distant space, leaving me without a gravitational pull from any school center or intelligent in-person community. I almost gave up on everything until now-a young student in a middle school where I’d been sent as a substitute asked me to sign his yearbook, remembering how I’d taught him to pronounce his French last name with a proper French accent—and I came back home and remembered who I am.

Sydney C., July 2021

"My Peace of Mind"

2020 what a year...life as I  knew it would change drastically.  My family and I went from complaining about what will be for dinner and the everyday hustle and bustle of life to a complete stand still.  I went from working 16 hours a day on the frontline to being shut in my bedroom for over a month fighting to breathe and making life decisions for my husband who was put on a ventilator for over a month.  My peace of mind as I knew it has been shattered. When this pandemic hit my family, my peace was disturbed. 

I thought about the question you asked…. and for me “my peace of mind” kept surfacing...this pandemic has taken me out of my comfort zone.  I had to appreciate the peace of mind that I had.  Funny thing I never thought about what was irreplaceable to me but reading your letter, has me thinking about it every day. We went from planning to just fighting to stay afloat mentally and to be able to make the decisions to be made.  It shakes up your soul.  

My daughter had to come home from college to take care of her two parents as well as her grandfather. She needed to stay on top of her studies….to keep not only herself safe but also her grandfather who is 84 years old while I lay sick trying to fight for both my husband and I to get well. She went from this carefree college student to being a caregiver.  Becoming totally dependent on someone else didn’t sit well within...what I knew as my peace was disturbed again. 

My days were long...tears were plentiful but the amount of support that I received kept me pushing through...my Princeton family...my friends near and far stepped in like an eagle protecting his baby....My Penn Medicine Princeton family not only took care of my husband but they took care of the rest of us....the deliveries poured in....groceries....flowers....gifts....some came to my garage to just see my face to have that peace of mind of seeing me upright out of bed...some went and stood outside of my husband’s hospital room day after day praying for him...holding up written signs to let him know that I was ok and to keep fighting....although my peace of mind was shaken, my support system gave me the strength that I needed to keep digging for strength I never knew I had....

I thought about your question many days and many nights and for me “my peace of mind” is what consumed my thoughts. This pandemic has taken me out of my comfort zone.  I had to appreciate the peace of mind that I had.....

Will I ever gain that Peace of Mind again…. ?

Your question came at the right time... it gave me the time to slow down and to think about things…it helped me to put everything into perspective.  Without it, there is a part of me that’s missing...  I don’t want to feel incomplete...and hear I am almost a year later still not whole but looking at life through a different lens....creating peace of mind with life as I know it now....

Junell W.., 2021

"Memories"

It’s early morning 

and Riverbear’s (school mascot) slumped over in his seat.

Soon to be roused 

by the excited children that he’ll greet.

For the doors will open 

and the little ones will stream in--

Anticipating learning

and good times to begin.

“Let’s run in the halls till somebody sees us--

and quickly jam on the brakes!”

But we are betrayed by our laughter and sneakers on the newly waxed floors --

and the screeching sound that it makes.

The ‘tall guy’ steps out of the classroom, cranes his neck, 

and peers down the long hall.

But… it’s cool-- he gets it…

“Just don’t overdo it or fall.”

Area 51 (classroom #)-- our destination

Our home away from home for the day.

On the far side of Riverside Town 

just a tad bit out of the way.

“My little ‘Martians’ have landed.

I hope you slept well.

I’ve been looking forward to seeing you--

I’m sure you can tell.”

“Good morning Munchkins, Good morning Champ, 

Good Morning-- Small Fries”.

These days a mask conceals the smile, 

but it’s all in the eyes.

“Good Morning Mr. McG! (Mick- Gee!)” they quickly reply.

“Hey-- you can’t call me that til grade 5.

It’s a rite of passage—

a special kind of end- of- the -school- year prize.”

Bob Dylan and Beatles’ tunes 

settle us down.

There’s a morning do-now on my desk--

I can’t mess around!

Sharpened pencils scratch across math books

Beneath humming fluorescent lights.

“Don’t sweat it—you’ll get it…

I’m here to help-- it’ll be alright.”

I hesitantly raise my hand

And volunteer to do a problem on the board.

“You can do it! You’ve got this!”

I feel more assured.

All eyes on me 

As I struggle to succeed.

I grapple. I wrestle.

I’m in dire need.

Mr. McGovern calmly gives--

a piece of advice.

Draw it out. Take your time.

Check your answer –twice!

Hmmm…I think to myself…

What to do?

I’m getting a bit nervous

Wouldn’t you too?

But, just then-- 

The light bulb goes off—it all makes sense.

I’ve got it! I’ve done it!

I’ve scaled the long division fence!

Mr. McG gives me a high- five

As I proudly head back to my seat.

Edison, Einstein?

I’ve got both of you beat!

“Time for a well-earned break.

Let’s chat for a bit.”

Mr. McG walks over to my desk

On top of it-- he’ll sit.

“What’s this I’ve got here in my pocket?”

He fumbles around.

Out he pulls The Sacred Silent Ball--

Gleeful cheers abound.

We play games. We laugh.

We love 4th grade life.

This is the place for me

no worries--no strife.

Outside our four walls-- 

we soon go.

We sit beneath the blossoming cherry tree

Our imaginations in tow. 

We write as if we’re the wondrous tree 

Just outside our door.

It hears everything we say--

Our read-alouds, our discussions, and so much more.

Mr. McG says, 

“Now let yourself go.

Discover new territories –Imagine.

You’ll surprise yourself with all you know.”

The four walls of my mind

Slowly disappear.

I erase my thoughts, my worries--

I am free and clear.

I compose my masterpiece

To be proudly displayed on the bulletin board.

I never knew I could do this

I am a samurai writer—my pencil—my trusty sword!

Back inside--

Laughter echoes throughout.

Children talk to one another

Smile and move about.

Mr. McGovern leans back in his old creaky green chair--

A proud smile washes over his face.

I wonder what he’s thinking?

…He sure does love this place.

One hundred eighty days--

It went by so fast!

I was new—you were new…

And sadly, it’s already our last.

“What great friends we’ve become in this short time.

You are wonderful. 

You are a gift.

You are one of a kind.”

“Will you come with me to grade 5?”

“That I cannot do.

It is time for you to move on—

time to learn something new.”

But please remember me…

Like I’ll remember you.

You’re one of my family members now--

Go on to live life to the fullest-- make your dreams come true.

Terry M., 2021

"The Art of Listening"

I listened  

To her stories of my absent father. 

I listened in between words 

as the tales changed over time. 

They were not to be trusted. 

Music filled the space where father should have been. Those sounds became his story within me - 

A history mine alone. 

Behind the notes lingered a trace of truth. 

I listened. 

I actively listened  

To the sounds and what lay beyond 

And from them I wove my own yarn. 

My then furry friend was witness 

And stored away those tales of a thousand and more nights. He remembers now more than I. 

His listening skills are nonpareil,  

But he never sings, 

So only through me do the stories live on. 

Julian G., 2021 

"Singing Together"

As the Princeton Public Health nurse, I have seen and heard many sad stories of sickness and loss. We worked hard at Town Hall to help mitigate the spread of disease and educate ourselves and the public about the new and frightening viral illness named COVID-19.

As the global pandemic sweeps through one year, now into year two, choral singing continues to remain on hold and there is no end in sight. And I am left with the unimaginable, not singing with my choir.

We were devastated to hear that singing together in a group is one of the worst things that anyone can do and is a danger to our well-being and the health of the community. The risk of spreading disease as we share each other’s space has been deemed verboten.

If only we had known that our last concert was the last time that we would sing together and blend our voices to create choral magic, I would savored it a little more. There is a certain grief that choral singers endure as we sing alone in a zoom meeting or in the shower. 

The irreplaceable piece of my life, is singing shoulder to shoulder together. Breathing together, soaring to that high crescendo and murmuring the tender soft notes as the song drifts off into silence. It is truly magical. I feel the same way after we rehearse on a Tuesday night or sing a concert. We are together, we are singing, we are making something wonderful out of our bodies, our voices. When you add the energy of a full orchestra to this mix, well you just have to come and experience in person because it is just not the same when you are not there, in person. 

As I reflected on the loss of singing with my choir it occurred to me that it wasn’t just the music we were making and yet it is all about the music. The sound that one person makes when they sing is beautiful and singular. But when 100 voices sing their parts together they create a harmony of sound that touches your heart and soul. I LOVE IT. 

Sharing the same space as we work towards a common goal is a large part of the enjoyment we gain in being together.  I have always loved going to the group drumming circle on the Delaware River with my sister. I am no expert in drumming. But sharing the rhythms together as they get faster and more intense creates an energy that comes off of the group and is shared by all. It is palpable and healing and keeps us going back for more.

I heard Princeton Pro Musica sing with my daughter’s group, Princeton Girl Choir. They are a premier choir that sings classical and major choral works with an orchestra and I was hooked. I auditioned and realized that I had found a piece of my soul that I did not know was missing. I am grateful that we still sing together on zoom.

I wish that I had more time to practice singing. I have been so busy in this overwhelming response that the public health community have had thrust upon us. But we stepped up and have helped mitigate disease and are now working on the vaccination rollout. I long for the day when we can gather and make music in person again.  

Kathy K., 2021

"Polished Antlers"

Antenna alive to the emotional world around me stay sharp and polished through constant use. Affording me the ability to discern and discover ‘entanglements,’ they make sense of ‘spooky action at a distance.’ 

Antenna at the ready, I not only found my way to China, but, of paramount import, to my family, as well. 

If I were a moose, I would hope for nothing less of my antlers. 

Peter L., 2021

"Mutual Love for the Latina Community"

The definition of irreplaceable is impossible to replace.  Something that is so special, unusual or valuable, is simply irreplaceable.   

This is how I feel about our minority families of Princeton.  All these families, from different backgrounds and situations, have made my life more complete.  I greatly value the opportunity I have been given to assist these families to help their lives run more smoothly.  It’s a rewarding experience that I will cherish forever--seeing the children’s happy faces makes my heart sing.  These families [have] been through some hard times and continue to face new challenges.  But, they face them head-on and with an attitude of perseverance and fortitude.  I value their eagerness to make better lives for themselves and their children, and I am so happy to be a part of their lives.  I can’t imagine my life without them.

La definición de insustituible es imposible de reemplazar.  Algo que es tan especial, inusual o valioso, es simplemente insustituible.

 Así es como me siento por nuestras familias minoritarias de Princeton.  Todas estas familias, de diferentes orígenes y situaciones, han hecho mi vida más completa.  Valoro mucho la oportunidad que se me ha brindado de ayudar a estas familias a ayudarles a que sus vidas transcurran sin problemas.  Es una experiencia gratificante que atesoraré por siempre: ver las caras felices de los niños hace que mi corazón lata.

Estas familias han pasado por momentos difíciles y continúan enfrentando nuevos desafíos.  Pero, los afrontan d con valor y con una actitud de perseverancia y entereza.  Valoro su entusiasmo por mejorar su vida y la de sus hijos, y estoy muy feliz de ser parte de sus vidas.  No puedo imaginar mi vida sin ellos.

Liliana M., 2021

"My Identity" →

My personal experiences of assimilation, racism, and colorism were heavy loads for me to bear as a child growing up in a racist America.  For me, the traumatization these experiences caused, created a space wherein I resented the most beautiful parts of my identity---being Haitian, being Black, and being dark-skinned. 

I cannot pinpoint the exact moment I unapologetically walked into and pridefully owned my power and beauty as a Black woman. My self-acceptance happened gradually, but the sense of empowerment that has come with this type of self-love has been liberating and life-changing. I do know that it was a journey to achieve self-love.  

Additionally, my career in law enforcement has also inspired me to tap into my voice and power as a Black woman. I am currently the first and only Black female police officer in a town that is older than America itself. 

What is irreplaceable to me is my identity. In my fight for social justice it often feels that I am being forced to pick a side. I am more than my brown skin and have much more depth than my blue uniform.

Toni M., 2021